Author: PoetessLaureate

I am a writer, counselor, and student of human behavior with a particular fascination for the unseen forces that organize our lives. My work combines psychology, field theory, complexity theory, attachment, and personal reflection to explore how people become who they are, how they change, and how they become entangled in one another’s stories. Psychological Cartography is my ongoing effort to map the terrain of the mind and the relational fields we inhabit. Through essays, poetry, and original concepts, I explore topics such as emotional contagion, projective identification, identity formation, social influence, and the hidden architectures of human connection. This is a place for curiosity, reflection, and the search for deeper coherence.

Fragmented sense of self

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Excruciating pain shattering me

Into a million fragmented pieces

How could I pull myself together again?

How could I become whole again?

All I know is endless pain

Like a storm that will never end

It just keeps on raging and wreaking havoc

Dragging my core down to the depths

Where I can not even seem to catch a breath

Nor utter a word in defense of myself

Humiliation

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Underneath the anger just a dull aching pain

Hurt

Fight or flight overactivated once again

Forgiving.. easy

Forgetting… impossible

Dark thoughts repetitious swirling around in my head

Like an infinite loop

Too powerful to pull away

I do not have the strength seemingly

And it’s destroying me spiritually

Mentally tortured and unhappy

Softer than a twinkie filling

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I melted off

I was naive

Not knowing the loss

I could not conceive

I could not even breathe

My heart stopped

Lump in my throat

Stomach in knots

I perish the thought I ever met you

I blessed and cursed the day

I let you have your way

There is not much more

It evaporated

The heartbreak of lore

The purgatory fated