I wish I could write to you like back in the day

I wish I could find the words to say

yet I am stumped

caught in a slump

in a ditch I have dug myself in

in my solitary haven

it is only seasonal

it is treason true I cannot write to you

as I used to

so effortlessly

you thread the tapestry before me

a vision of perfection i see

like a sculpture

every curve and contour

i explore

i adore

beg for more

so unwittingly you pull me into your door

no chance for me to endure

Those ominous clouds I do recall

It was quite an adventure

There was mystery and melancholy

And tears and sweat

No time for regret

Only plunging forward into the abysmal depths

some things fizzle out before they start

i had my doubts

yet marched forward begrudgingly

forcibly torturing my sensibilities

knowing better though behaving robotically

compulsive monotony

comforting me

all the fun was in the pursuit

now let us regroup and think on it

could only be so magical for a moment

the sparkle and shine dulled the more time was spent

all the feverish light-headedness

so intoxicating the bliss

yet we surely flow amiss

and alas

we are left with this