On memory, fantasy, and the body’s refusal to stay in time.
On memory, fantasy, and the body’s refusal to stay in time.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, or don’t. Either way, survival mode does not ask for permission, it demands presence.
And you submit and obey.
I learned to divide myself
not out of cleverness
but out of need.
To keep the engine running,
each part learned its station:
one for winning,
one for not sitting still long enough
for the floor to give way.
Stillness was expensive.
Motion paid the bills.
I organized my inner life
like a system under pressure
efficient,
quiet,
appearing whole.