2025 Recap
This is not a poem written from longing, rage, or collapse. It is written from post withdrawal clarity. No longer negotiating reality. The self has become the reference point again.
The quiet power here is not dominance it’s non-engagement without collapse.
Unblocked projection is a sign of psychological readiness not weakness. It means that you’re in a world is active, your psyche is searching for relational embodiment, and your future self is organizing.
However, to hold the symbolic role within a projection, there must be some reciprocation of/in reality.
Thinking preserved self continuity when feeling did not protect against emotional engulfment, relational collapse, identity diffusion or being pulled into someone else’s gravity.
Just make sure you sequence the process properly for maximum effect.
And that is sufficient for now.
I learned to divide myself
not out of cleverness
but out of need.
To keep the engine running,
each part learned its station:
one for winning,
one for not sitting still long enough
for the floor to give way.
Stillness was expensive.
Motion paid the bills.
I organized my inner life
like a system under pressure
efficient,
quiet,
appearing whole.
External affirmation in pursuit of intensity, admiration and reassurance. Not for connection itself but instead to stabilize the fragile internal self structure.
the Purgatory of a Broken Heart 