I fell so hard

I felt a rush in my head

And I have not recovered since

Ever since that fateful day

My mind is spaced out and in a haze

I can not seem to think straight

My senses in an apathetic state

It was not a lovely thing

A prisoner can grow to identify with her captor

Or sometimes even love him

In this case a parting you would think would be a blessing

… is instead a double bind.. double edged sword in it’s rendering

More than an afterthought

Or an option #C

This vessel will not end me

Even if you do not see it for me

It is my own responsibility

To repel that which does not suit me

That which does not complement

The organic and spiritual substance

Which is upheld

No time to waste

With low vibrational energies

Out to vamp my spirtual harmony

I shan’t be unbalanced needlessly

No love

No care

There is nothing here to call my own

Not even an after glow

From the delusional fantasy reality

Refaced to pretty up

Yet underneath still not enough

To quench the thirst

Not even one cup of water for you

You know what you do..

Building empty houses with no foundation

Glass houses.. full to the brim with boxes of rocks

We just tiptoe around this shadow landscape

Hoping for a spiritual escape

So far away with no one around for quite a while

Shadows of individuals

Specters of beings

Spiritless vessels drifting listlessly

Yet no warmth

No lively look in the eye

No shoulder to cry on

No smile

No laugh

No care

So eventually you question…

Is anyone even there?

And everyone just glares

Wake up

You need a shake up

You are not

So stop

Imagining alternate realities

Where this could possibly be

Does not seem at all sensible to me

Yet everyday

Begrudgingly…

New weeds sprout up where I have plucked them before

It is an everlasting bore

Yet a necessity

For me to maintain this fantasy

Blocked blessings in an alternate reality