Trip duration: Approximately 9:00 p.m. to 3:00 or 4:00 a.m.
 Substance: Psilocybin mushrooms
 Initial dose: Approximately 6 grams
 Redose: Approximately 2.5 grams, two hours later
 Cumulative amount: Approximately 8.5 grams
 Setting: At home, in bed, with red Govee lights
 Music: prettifun

Preparation and Come-Up

Before taking the mushrooms, I cleaned my room. I wanted the environment around me to feel orderly, calm, and intentional. I turned on my red Govee lights, which gave the room a warm, enclosed atmosphere and became part of the visual setting of the experience.

I took the initial dose of approximately 6 grams at around 9:00 p.m. After dosing, I went for a 30-minute walk at the park while I was beginning to come up. The walk gave me movement, fresh air, and a gradual transition into the altered state before I returned home.

Once I came back, I rubbed my body down with African shea butter. As the mushrooms continued to take effect, I gave myself a massage and focused on the parts of my body where I carried the most tension, especially my calves, toes, and feet.

The massage became part of the come-up. I was not simply waiting for the mushrooms to begin. I was actively tending to my body as the experience opened. The touch, pressure, warmth, and texture of the shea butter helped me remain connected to physical sensation while my perception began to change.

Massaging my calves, toes, and feet created a sense of release from the ground upward. It felt as though I was preparing my body to soften before allowing my mind to travel further.

Approximately two hours after the initial dose, at around 11:00 p.m., I redosed with another 2.5 grams. This brought the cumulative amount to approximately 8.5 grams. The additional dose appeared to extend and intensify the experience as I moved further into the visual and bodily phases of the trip.

The combination of the cleaned room, red lighting, park walk, African shea butter, massage, music, and dosing sequence created a highly intentional sensory environment. The setting was not incidental. It helped organize the experience.

Emotional Tone

I had a deeply pleasurable and visually intense psilocybin experience. I remained physically safe, emotionally calm, and aware that I was under the influence throughout the trip.

I did not experience fear, paranoia, or distress. The dominant emotional tone was joy, awe, curiosity, bodily pleasure, and a sense of being carried by the experience rather than overwhelmed by it.

The trip lasted until approximately 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. on July 2. The most intense portions unfolded during the late evening and early morning hours before gradually subsiding.

Music, Pulsing, and Sensory Immersion

The music I listened to was by prettifun. It became one of the central organizing forces of the trip. The sound was bright, layered, energetic, and immersive. It seemed perfectly matched to the rapid geometric movement occurring behind my closed eyes.

The music did not remain separate from the visuals or my body. Sound became color, movement, space, emotion, and physical pleasure. The beats and shifting melodies seemed to propel me through the visual environment, as though the music were generating the corridors in real time.

My body began pulsing with the music. The rhythms did not feel as though they were only entering through my ears. They seemed to move directly through my body, creating waves of sensation that followed the beat.

At one point, I felt as though I had been sucked completely into the music and the visual world it created. I was no longer simply listening to the songs or observing the closed-eye imagery. I felt immersed inside a world made from sound, movement, color, energy, and geometric structure.

This was when my entire body began buzzing with pleasure.

The buzzing felt expansive and continuous. It was not confined to one area. It moved throughout my body and seemed synchronized with the music. My body felt alive with vibration, as though every part of me had been recruited into the rhythm.

The music was not something occurring outside me. My body appeared to become part of its pulse.

The prettifun music gave the visual structure momentum. Each change in rhythm, texture, or intensity appeared to alter the internal world. The corridors stretched, rotated, folded into themselves, or opened into new geometric spaces along with the music.

It felt less like listening to songs and more like entering an environment constructed from sound.

At the peak, the music felt almost orgasmic. The pleasure was not confined to one part of my body. It felt distributed across my entire field of awareness.

At times, I could barely feel the ordinary boundaries of my body. I did not feel absent or unconscious. Instead, my body seemed less like a solid object and more like vibration, pulse, music, energy, and sensation.

The music, imagery, full-body buzzing, bodily pleasure, and earlier massage seemed to belong to the same continuum. The tension I had focused on in my calves, toes, and feet gave way to a broader sense of release throughout my body.

The Visual Experience

The most vivid part of the trip occurred when I closed my eyes. I entered what felt like an enormous geometric structure made of bright, moving energy.

I saw kaleidoscopic corridors, wormhole-like passageways, repeating patterns, and vast interconnected forms. The imagery did not feel flat or decorative. It felt architectural, dimensional, and immersive, as though consciousness were moving through an internally generated universe.

The closest image I have for the structure is Indra’s net: an infinite web in which every point reflects and connects to every other point.

The forms appeared nested inside one another, with corridors opening into larger corridors and patterns continuously reorganizing themselves. There was movement, depth, symmetry, recursion, and an impression of endless internal space.

The red light in the room contributed to the atmosphere when my eyes were open. Closing my eyes opened an entirely different visual environment. Moving between the room and the internal landscape felt like shifting between two distinct but connected fields.

The wormholes and corridors felt like transitions between layers of consciousness. They were not simply objects I observed. They felt like routes through which awareness was moving.

The journey was inward, but it carried the scale and magnitude of moving through outer space.

The kaleidoscopic patterns felt highly ordered. They were continuously changing, but they did not feel chaotic. The structure reorganized itself repeatedly while maintaining coherence.

It felt like multiplicity without fragmentation.

Being Pulled Into the Audiovisual World

The peak did not feel like standing outside the imagery and watching it. It felt like crossing into it.

The music, geometric corridors, bodily pulsing, and buzzing pleasure fused into one continuous environment. I felt drawn through it rather than positioned at a distance from it.

It was as though the music created a world and then pulled me inside.

My ordinary distinction between listener, body, sound, and visual image became less clear. The experience was not divided into separate senses. Music became movement. Movement became imagery. Imagery became bodily sensation. Bodily sensation became pleasure.

For a period of time, the entire field of experience felt synchronized.

Agency Within the Experience

One of the strongest insights I had was that I could influence the experience.

When I closed my eyes, focused on the prettifun music, and surrendered to it, the corridors and geometric structures intensified. When I opened my eyes or redirected my attention, I could orient myself back to the room.

I felt able to move in and out of the deeper visual state.

My initial thought was:

I control the distortions.

A more precise way of describing it is that I discovered I had meaningful influence over the experience through attention, focus, touch, music, movement, and sensory orientation.

I was not helpless inside the altered state. I could enter it, observe it, deepen it, and return.

This became one of the central meanings of the trip:

I could surrender without disappearing.

Even when I felt pulled into the music and visual world, some observing part of me remained available. I could become deeply immersed without losing all awareness that I was having an altered experience.

Interconnectedness and the Field

The experience felt connected to ideas I have already been exploring about regulation, fields, interconnectedness, systems, and the relationship between individuality and totality.

The Indra’s net imagery seemed to express a form of consciousness in which nothing existed in isolation. Each part belonged to a larger structure, and the structure was continuously created through the relationships among its parts.

I did not experience myself as the center of this structure. I experienced myself as one point within it.

I remained distinct, but I did not feel separate.

The trip gave me an experiential image of something I have often considered conceptually: how a person can remain differentiated while participating in a field larger than the individual self.

The music seemed to organize that field. My body pulsed with it, the visuals moved through it, and pleasure circulated across the whole system.

For a time, I did not experience the music, my body, and the imagery as separate elements. They behaved like one coordinated field.

Somatic Progression

Looking back, the trip had a clear somatic progression.

I began by cleaning and organizing the external space.

I took the initial dose at approximately 9:00 p.m.

I walked through the park and allowed my body to move.

I returned home and covered my skin with African shea butter.

I massaged the most tense areas of my body, especially my calves, toes, and feet.

Approximately two hours after the first dose, I took another 2.5 grams.

As the experience deepened, my body began pulsing with the music.

I then felt pulled into the audiovisual world created by the music and closed-eye imagery.

My entire body began buzzing with pleasure.

My sense of the body became less fixed, less bounded, and more expansive.

The trip moved from grounding, to release, to intensification, to immersion, to permeability.

After the Trip

The experience gradually ended between approximately 3:00 and 4:00 a.m.

Afterward, I felt very good. I was not distressed or emotionally destabilized. I felt energized by the beauty and intensity of what I had experienced.

I also had a strong urge to redose again and return to the closed-eye visual world. I wanted to reenter the corridors and recover the music, buzzing pleasure, and sense of vast interconnected structure.

That urge was strongest while the experience still felt psychologically open and unfinished.

As time passed, the urge began to decrease. Talking and writing about the experience helped transform it from raw sensory intensity into something I could think about and hold symbolically.

I began to understand that I did not need to reproduce the experience immediately in order to preserve it.

Central Themes

The trip centered around:

• agency within surrender
• permeability without annihilation
• intensity without fear
• bodily dissolution without loss of awareness
• multiplicity held within order
• interconnectedness without loss of individuality
• music as a gateway and organizing force
• bodily pulsing and vibration as part of the music
• full-body pleasure and sensory fusion
• movement and touch as forms of regulation
• releasing bodily tension before entering psychological depth
• immersion without complete loss of awareness
• the ability to enter a powerful field without becoming helpless inside it

The most important insight may not have been that I saw wormholes, kaleidoscopes, or Indra’s net.

The deeper insight was that I could prepare the field, tend to my body, become immersed in something immense, loosen my ordinary boundaries, and still remain present enough to return.

I could be pulled into the music without being lost inside it.

I could be part of the net without losing the point from which I experienced it. 🕸️