Searching inside…

Now desire awake!

Almost better to see it in a dormant state.

Almost… but not quite

A maniacal ascension blinds the sight

Though immeasurably pleasurable

Danger it will bring!

The compulsion

The obsession

The voices sing!

… and they plan to bring down everything

I love the way you loved me

It set the precedence

For any other future love must be equivalent and nothing less

I was in a dark place when you found me

Isolated, lonely…

…and dangling on the edge of insanity

Only your extended hand pulled me back from the precipice

Where I planned to fall into the abyss that I had been marching toward forever

I felt almost human

I felt almost whole

Yet my soul still too tortured to play this role

My perspective so askew

Doubt I could see it the way you view

But you made me feel something I never knew

 

 

Please excuse errors I was thinking and writing really fast and this is my first draft…

No use pondering anymore

Tired from the racing thoughts

Trying to come to terms with myself

The destruction I sought

Yet it is more complicated than that

Self doubt

Eating me from the inside out

Tearing apart my sanity

In this love drought

The mind shattered in a thousand pieces

There must be somewhere I can compartmentalize

This hurting part of me I can not seem to let go

Not consciously or unconsciously

Affirmations are not working

Prayers going unanswered

This dark cloud hovering ever cautiously

Is threatening rain

…and I remain in purgatory

Empty words you feed to me

Yet I still crave, so hungrily

For sustenance

For nourishment

For solidity

In these blind statements

Please do not say

What you will not do

Who will break my fall?

If not you?

How much more can I wait?

Wait so patiently…

For poetic words to set me free

For the promises to redeem me

For a foolish heart.. to believe in me