Do not “want to be”

Do not want to be

Be what you are

There is no searching when you are found within

I can bring you to the water

It is you who must drink

I can take you much further

But it is you who must make the journey to the brink of the precipice

To bridge the gap you jump

Do not miss

The attempts made may be innumerable

Yet the redemption

The transcendence is golden

Cycling exponentially

Cycling faster and faster with less sanity in between

The lows are dire depths

The highs are maddening, maniacal, adrenaline filled dreams

The seasons change is filling me with melancholy

I am lost in a headspace undefined

Desensitized

Like a ton of bricks hit

Yet you were numb and could not feel it

It should feel a bit more dreadful than this

I should be crying instead of sighing

I should be dying inside

Consecutive pain desensitized

Imploding until fragmentized

Shaking in my feels

It does not feel real

You beat me to it

I wanted to be the one to end my way

The shelf life was brewing

..but you beat me to it

I had no control

..that drove me cray

I wanted to be the one to end it…

..couldn’t believe you beat me to it

The dread when I found out

Could’ve sworn I had you down

I got a little cocky

I slacked and I let you put one over on me

Damn

Let’s be in the moment

Your past does not matter to me

Express yourself in the moment

Do not tell me what you ought to be

I only want to see your reality

The way things are now

No fallacies

No need..

Show me actions

Show reactions

It is natural to experience the moment

That escapes most

Yet the most eager can grasp it easily