Thinking preserved self continuity when feeling did not protect against emotional engulfment, relational collapse, identity diffusion or being pulled into someone else’s gravity.
Just make sure you sequence the process properly for maximum effect.
And that is sufficient for now.
I learned to divide myself
not out of cleverness
but out of need.
To keep the engine running,
each part learned its station:
one for winning,
one for not sitting still long enough
for the floor to give way.
Stillness was expensive.
Motion paid the bills.
I organized my inner life
like a system under pressure
efficient,
quiet,
appearing whole.
You can know it was final.
You can know why it ended.
You can feel clear about .incompatibilities and timing.
And the heart still says: I miss her 😰.
Could it be that you were just a mirror, reflecting back at me? Was our connection state dependent? Did you feel my warmth? Or was it just a reverie?
Intense feelings that are separate from the situation’s reality. Must be tested. Seek external perspectives, check assumptions, focus on facts, be objective, logical, ask questions, and grab a paper and pen to tally negative self-labels against actual behaviors to analyze discrepancies.
the Purgatory of a Broken Heart 